haHA! pffffft... hmmm... whoohoo!

FYI - when i type "pfffft" i make the "pfffft" noise along with my typing of the "pfffft" noise and then i crack myself up...

SO easily entertained... (pointing at myself).

haHA!

Yesterday I got a box in the mail from my FAVORITE Hillbilly redneck that lives in the wrong state! Or maybe I live in the wrong state...

I opened the box, pulled a piece of burlap out of the top and then...

SEW many patches fell out - and MORE fell out... then EVEN MORE fell out and then I FELL OUT laughing!!! Kim - you are absolutely PRICELESS - you know that, right? I laughed so hard - threw some in the air and let them rain down on my head... started reading some of the names and giggled 'til my sides hurt!!! With your aidin' and abedin' I figure I'm going to go in to the "new identity" business with my pearl-snap shirts serving as a passport! Or a calling card!

Need an Alias? come see me.
Going in to Witness Protection? i can hook you up.

Wanna be Floyd? Eddie? Bob? Rocky? Daryl? Take your pick - because of Kim, I can fix you right up!

pffffft...

When I was pulling scraps of velvet and cut-velvet and laying them all out on my cutting table, it went through my mind and out of my mouth that perhaps I was done with the cut velvets. Then I finished this pocketbook...

now I want to keep it. Annnnddddd.... I think I'm not done playing in the velvet. pfffffft...

hmmm...

I designed a new purse pattern! A super simple cross-body bag...

and am fresh out of names for her! The floor is now YOURS!!! Any suggestions?

whoohoo!

I'm gonna be rolling my duct tape up the highway to Arlington sew that I can wreak some red.neck havoc at the Junk Hippy Roadshow!

I'm gonna take some junk... some more junk... and allllllllllllllllllllll of the other things that come out of my head! Am I in a panic? yes.

It's less than 2 weeks away!!! My morning coffee mantra is, "I can do this. I can do this. I can do this." then I run out in to the lab.or.a.tory and make great things! Then more coffee... then more great things... then more coffee...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where you KNOW I'm on a pearl-snap shirt roll now thanks to Kim... who do you want to be today? hee-hee



Have a Happy Happy Halloween - save me some candy! I'm SERIOUSLY craving some of those little Milky Way bars! And some Gummy Worms!!! bwoooohahahahaha

p.s. I am now done making funny noises (i AM always laughing though)... carry on. ;-) xoxo

where is red.neck Chic?

*** WARNING ***

grab your coffee 'cause i am feeling EXTREMELY talkative and i would LOVE IT if you stayed and spent some time with me!!!

we will steal Cat Daddy's chair.

first: i know... i know... i have become the most HORRIBLE of informants... i should proll'y have my "i will tell you things" license revoked IMMEDIATELY!!!

i've become the red.neck version of Waldo... but instead of being lost in a crowd of people - i'm lost in a pig sty la.BOR.a.tory full of fabric and duct tape and pocketbooks and memory cards containing a million photos (half of which are Cat Daddy sightings) and greeting cards and jewelry and dish towels and pearl-snap shirts and soap and candles and odd pieces of furniture... and all kinds of fun junk sitting around waiting for me to "red.neck" it up... plus a few other things i'm probably purposely forgetting about... PLUS a few great and fun things rattling around in my brain waiting to come out!!! it took me TWO HOURS last night to clean off 3 square feet of my cutting table! craziness!

for the record - that whole entire long notgrammaticallycorrect last sentence is not a complaint!!! ('sides. i'm not known for being grammatically correct ANY time. or schpealling corectly fer that madder.)

thrown in the mix for fun - i have been spending a lot more time at The Hillsboro Antique Mall - either harasing customers or destroying - and then trying to FIX MY OWN DESTRUCTION - "red.neckville" which has grown up some more, and filled in/out A LOT more!

Kim and David, CEO's of City Farmhouse and Kristi (aka: Sugar Bear), CEO of Junkology 101/Checkered Past

then we have the man-child who is 18 and that means... well... not much has changed there except: football season has happened and i have to go grin and embarrass the man-child because i like to take a million and one pictures of him and he hates that.

i don't care. *click* *snap*

this past friday night he played the "Star Spangled Banner" for the football game with the "trombone quartet". the feeling of "mama PRIDE" that i felt while watching and listening was... indescribable.

take a week + out of all of that and plant me in a cow pasture with the two most AWESOME of people and i'm in red.neck HEAVEN!

speaking of - do you like the eye candy i'm throwing in to make you grin and swoon? it's all photos i took from Mama Debinator and Cat Daddy's space at Marburger.

I give you:

THEEEEEEEE Kitty Cat Daddy!!!

i got to spend a WEEK with Kitty Cat Daddy! better than that? i was ASSIGNED to Kitty Cat Daddy! you betcha I was doing the happy dance when Mama Debinator gave me THAT assignment!

i've talked about my Grandparents before - my Grandfather - and just how very important in my life my Grandparents were... what a difference my Grandfather made - and how much FUN we had!

well, though Cat Daddy isn't old enough to be my Grandfather (he and Mama Debinator (i think) just celebrated their 29th birthdays you know...), Cat Daddy reminds me SO MUCH of Grampy. which... is a wonderful thing in my opinion! I got that whole warm fuzzy feeling for a whole week!

Cat Daddy is a man of few words - but works hard - then grins and plays hard!

i like to just trail along behind him and watch how he does "engineering" work (meaning... it's amazing what Cat Daddy makes happen using cardboard and zip ties... or wire... or whatever he can get his hands on...) as we hung lights and curtains... picture frames and mirrors... naked people... all kinds of things!

he can cart furniture off like nobody's BUSINESS! things that I thought FOR SURE would not fit on the dolly DID and i was left thinking, "how did he do that?!"!

if you ask Cat Daddy about something - ANYTHING - he usually knows what you're asking about, some history behind it and how it works. mind you... some of it might be what HE thinks it is and how HE thinks it works - but, in my opinion, that makes it more fun - and it usually makes more sense!

cookie breaks. Those are a must - and they happen just as all cookie breaks MUST happen.

i learned how to screech around sharp corners like a world class stunt driver... while going 10mph.

Cat Daddy is patient... each morning (which in HIS opinion starts WAY earlier than when Mama Debinator and I think it should) he would just sit and wait for us to be ready to "get out on the job-site". that - right there - says a lot about him!!!

Vienna Sausage will - from here on out - be referred to as: "VYEENY WEENIES" and are always best when warmed up on the dash of the truck.

and THEN there is Mama Debinator! good GRIEF - she is crooked as crooked can GET!

when i set-up red.neckville on the road and in the antique mall - i am very linear in my displays. i adore multiples and simple groupings and line-ups of fun stuff. (could be a flashback from my jail day.. *shrug*)

Mama Debinator? nnnnnooooooooooooooooooooooo:

"turn it a little bit more"...

"hang this from that corner... no... angle it some more."

"i just had a brain fart..."

THAT statement always leads to climbing, doing some gymnastics and making things crooked.

by the end of the first day MY question was always: "is that crooked enough for you?"

let me tell you though... the Talkin' Trash space at Marburger was a magical land of fun junk, AWESOME junk, giggles and laughter, life lessons and wisdom... and coffee.

and crooked things.

Mama Debinator's space was as FABulous as she is!!!

for me? the whole week was absolutely priceless. i got to spend days and nights with two of the most important people in my life. (yes. i am bragging about that!) annnnnnnd i'm ready to do it again.

let's see... what else... oh - i got a part/time job. well, i won't really call it a JOB because...

uhmm...

I GET TO GO VISIT HONEY (i know, i know, you know all about Honey and how i stalk her like a crazed red.neck, but stay with me here!) 3 DAYS A WEEK!!! i am SO excited - THREE DAYS each week i get to lurk, loiter, soak in and LEARN in Honey's Home + Style... i get to puppy-dog Honey's footsteps and sponge up her wisdom - I GET TO PLAY WITH FABULOUS HOME PRODUCTS and BE SURROUNDED by ALL THINGS new and cutting edge - all things that make up Honey's STYLE!!!

for a red.neck with big dreams, goals and plans - this is such an AWESOME FABULOUS honor for me - and i can't stop grinning!!! i see great and fun things happening and all of this is going to be reflected in how "red.neck Chic" grows and matures and becomes all things funner! did i mention that i get to spend time in the MOST FABULOUS shop on earth with one of the MOST FABULOUS shop owners I know? oh - happy dance HAPPY DANCE!!!

i'm sure that there is a whole lot more i'm forgetting to tell you about, but i figure you're out of coffee (and you might be falling asleep in "the throne" because it is THAT comfortable!) and i think i just saw sparks flying out of my coffee maker... that REALLY can't be a good thing i don't think...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where i THANK YOU for being you and for sitting and visiting with me!!! you DO KNOW that YOU are super special to me and i promise - i'll get better at being an informant!!! right after i see why there are sparklers in my kitchen...

xoxoxoxo

pinned...

Janet (Talk Sweet Talk) had everything necessary to pin me... just wait 'til I show what else she had!

I'm pinned to my chair (when I'm not falling out of it) still editing photos of fun junk - FABulous displays - cRooKeD things - cows and flowers - a Kitty Cat Daddy...

all kinds of fun - just for you!!!

What are you up to this week-end? Fun things? Great things? Is it cold at your house? I've heard rumors that it's supposed to be Autumn. But... in my 'hood I think it's still Spring... or Summer... or Spummer...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where the air-conditioner is on and I keep having visions of the "crop box" in Photoshop in my sleep...

i survived!

Talking Trash and The CAT DADDY!

I am BACK from playing in the dirt with kitty Cat Daddy and Mama Debinator... in the middle of a cow pasture... for a week plus!!! Marburger Farm was SOOOO fun and SOOOO interesting that I now have 1,663 photos to edit.



And that's just on one memory card.



I had 3 memory cards out there with me.



I might be cross-eyed the next time you see me... but I will be inundating you with photos of great junk and fun stuff shortly!!!

What did you do while I was gone?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I might film my own episode of "I Survived" after following Mama Debinator and kitty Cat Daddy around for a week!!!! good GRIEF!!!

hahahahahaha!!! (I wouldn't trade it for all the junk in the world!!!)

know what time it is?

It's time for me to pack myself up with a week's worth of clothes, some cowgirly boots, a pair of work gloves, a kitty cat leash, a stage and a big 'ol red.neck grin.

Why?

'Cause I'm Marburger Farm bound!!!

I have chosen not to set up "red.neckville" at Zapp Hall this year since "red.neckville" is spread all across the Universe via my Etsy shop, and reined in (as much as "reining me in" is possible) at The Hillsboro Antique Mall! Those two things - plus a few additional fun adventures to keep me on my toes - all add up to me having more than a full-time job of sewin', junkin' and thinking up new and great red.neck fun! YAY!

INSTEAD:

I am going to keep that pesky kitty Cat Daddy on a leash...

and make sure that Mama Debinator (aka: Talking Trash) gets center stage! (I think I've also volunteered to be her campaign manager since she's running for Prezdent and all!)

While I'm willingly schleppin' along side Mama Debinator and kitty Cat Daddy I will ALSO be harassin' Sweet T (aka: Theresa, Garden Antiques Vintage) who is debuting at Marburger - along with her blog party!  Good grief, do you think Marburger knows what they have gotten themselves in to by having kitty Cat Daddy and Cruz (aka: Mr Sweet T) in the same field? For that matter... have you SEEN Mama Debinator and Sweet T together?

Talk about double-trouble... *shakes head*

At Marburger (when no-one is looking) I will be sticking my duct tape to TOT (aka: Time Worn Interiors), Shelley (aka: Sweet Pea Home) and the most awesome Janet (aka: Talk Sweet Talk)... annnnnnnd anyone else I may run across in that pasture.

I will ALSO be mosey'n down the road to Zapp Hall every chance I get! You'll know me because I will be wreaking COMPLETE havoc everywhere in that cow pasture!!! Richard (aka: Alston's Antiques) was loadin' up an extra chair for me so I could hang out with him and visit the OTHER Richard, Patsy and Bill... then there's THE Carolyn Westbrook (I'm ALL about stalking Carolyn... luckily she rolls her eyes at me and lets me give her grief...) and Sarah (aka: Sarah Smith Salvage Style) and Cheryl and the gang at Royers, and MALissa (aka: Pent Up Photos) and the always beautiful Tricia (aka: Vintage Bliss) and - of course - Amie and Jolie (aka: The Junk Gypsies!) Annnnnnnnd... a whole bunch of other fun people - with some fun JUNK  in between!



I'm worn out just thinking about it all... but I still have to pack!!! Let's see... my cowgirly boots, a truck-load of sparkles, clothes, a pocketbook, my camera, my battery charger, my kitty Cat Daddy leash...

Will I see you there?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where here is a lil' TMInformation and/or FYInformation. Not ONE SINGLE PAIR of my socks match (stupid sock monster that lives in the dryer) - so I'm taking them all. It will be a guess as to what two colors (or patterns... I have some tractors, happy daisies, argyle and some Strawberry Shortcake) I will be wearing each day. See?  TOTAL FUN!!! On your way yet?

airing my dirty laundry...

For me, blue jean shopping is like shopping for that perpetually elusive and stunningly perfect bathing suit that makes me look like I'm 27 years younger, 10 feet taller, tan, and that I just casually sauntered off the pages of the latest Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition magazine where I was the star attraction. This mythical and stunningly perfect bathing suit (and blue jeans... I'm just gonna throw in "blue jeans" so I'm not venturing off of my subject so early in my post) should disguise all imperfections, dents and dings - instantly make me look as if I've lost that pesky 400 pounds that just persists in stalking me and WILL NOT cease and desist! The flabbergastingly stunningly perfect bathing suit (and blue jeans) should and WILL hide my excessive Little Debbie Zebra Cake consumption (which could explain that pesky poundage), and... give me the over-all appearance of being a Victoria's Secret model in a teeny tiny polka-dot bikini with legs a mile long, a non-Little Debbie Zebra Cake belly... it will impede all wiggle that's in my jiggle and provide me with the ability to walk the cat-walk in my teeny tiny polka-dot bikini with my legs that are a mile long and not fall flat on my face because i tripped over a dust bunny that was not visible to the naked eye... and great hair.






blue jean shopping is pretty traumatic for me.

I can go for months WEEKS to various stores trying on EVERY. SINGLE. PAIR. of blue jeans that whatever store I'm in carries, and walk out empty handed (and still in HORRIBLE jeans) because not one pair fit right.

THIS (pointing at myself) baby's got BACK! I'm toooooo old something for sparkles on my tailgate... I'm toooooo old something for buttons on the aforementioned tailgate that has dropped and taken a detour SOUTH without my permission to do so.

AND:

It turns out I have a waist... my hips are larger than my waist... my legs are long...  and THIS (still pointing at myself...) baby's got back.

And "the GAP"? No... not "THE Gap"... I'm talkin' about the "I'm not a plumber but I pretend to be one by wearing these jeans" gap... you know what i'm talkin' about.

Have you felt my "I really need and want a pair of jeans that FIT" pain? Please tell me I'm not alone.

Well...

I FOUND SOME BLUE JEANS! YAY!!! I took 11 pair of jeans in to the dressing room (yes, I said ELEVEN pair of jeans) and came out with one pair that fits!!! The Levi's 529 CURVY fit. Seriously - they are beyond blue jean greatness and you need to own a pair (or 3)!

How long has it been since you have owned a pair of Levi's? I don't remember EVER owning a pair of Levi's! Now?

I own 3 pair (including the dirty ones I pulled out of my laundry basket so that I could "air my dirty laundry" with you) because that's how many they had after I ransacked the racks and surrounding tables. I refuse to torture myself and get a huge complex shop for jeans for a realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long time.

I'm not going to shop for a bathing suit either. *shudder*

Since this is not a paid advertisement for Levi's and/or Little Debbie Zebra Cakes (though Little Debbie could pay me with her Little Debbie Zebra Cakes), let me show you what else I've discovered lately:

"Rapid Wrinkle Repair"... I'm not sure how rapid it is, or how many wrinkles it might be repairing (the perfect wrinkle cream is hangin' out with that always evasive stunningly perfect bathing suit somewhere in the land of... somewhere.) but the freckles on my face look better... feel better... no oily residue and all of that other stuff that face cream bashers critics discuss. You should get some of this on your way back home from the blue jean store.

Now. If they would only make some "you will Rapidly become a Swimsuit Model over-night" cream for me... *wistful sigh goes here*

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I swear on my roll of duct tape. None of this was a paid advertisement for Levi's, Little Debbie Zebra Cakes and/or Neutrogena... I just thought you should know! Read it as a "Public Service Announcement"... or "red.necks against plumber's... uhmmm.... gap".




p.s. I grabbed my jeans on sale at JC Penney... no, this is not an advertisement for JC Penney either... but if they had that unattainable and stunningly perfect swim suit with a side of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes I might consider heading up their advertising department for them.  :-D