Tuesday, February 8

you are under arrest...

It's true.  I have heard those words before.  And, me being me, met those words head on with a fit of giggles.

Let me set the scene for you:

It was 1 o'clock in the morning and I was on my way home from work... heading west bound on a little 2 lane road.  I was driving a little red car. I come to a blinking red light at an intersection (2 lanes heading north, 1 middle turn lane, 2 lanes heading south) look both ways and cross...

1 lane
2 lanes
turn lane
3 lanes
4th lane...
halfway through the 4th lane I get smacked in the back-end by a very large truck.  He goes over me from front to back, twists me around a few times, goes over me from side to side, twists me around some more...
I come to my senses looking out the missing windshield to see that the very large truck is wrapped around a telephone pole.

I believe in miracles - and certainly did as they pried me from my car and I watched the truck guy climb out of the cab of his very large truck.  A. we were all okay (they estimated truck guy going between 80-85mph) - B. he hit me right where my son's car seat was always strapped in and - C. my son was not with me.

Now... me being the ding-bat that I am (and for whatever reason) did not have my driver's license with me.  I rattled off my name, DL number, date of birth etc., but did not have the actual license.  So - that night I got a ticket (always carry your license with you!!!).

Let's fast forward a couple of weeks...
I had been dealing with the insurance company (the truck guy was not driving his own truck, and the truck he WAS driving was un-insured... if you do not have "un-insured motorists coverage" on your auto policy - I highly recommend it!!!), crying on the phone several times a day with "the mama" on the other end, trying to find some wheels, etc. etc. (etc. really means "I forgot to pay the ticket") etc., when a knock comes on my apartment door.  I open it and hear:

"ma'am, we are having a warrant round-up this week-end and you are under arrest..."
I giggle.
And.............. off we go!  I basically RACED the police officer down to his car - I was officially under arrest!!! I was so excited - I was gonna have a record!  I rode in the front (no handcuffs... do I not look menacing enough?  geesh...) and after much begging and pleading I FINALLY got to turn the pretty lights on!  No siren though... again, I guess I'm not menacing enough...

and voila! We're at the police station!!!  I carefully helped select my convict number - then got to participate in a photo session!  I vetoed a few of the mug shots - but in the end was very happy with the selected photos. (It was then I realized my left side is my best side.) I could very well be the only person in the world grinning in my mug shots. LOL! 

FUN! (I'm SO hoping my son never reads this 'cause I don't recommend going to jail... really...)

I got to read the novels written on the holding cell benches per my request - I didn't really get put in there - but I HAD to go visit the holding cell, right?  And I'm still slightly miffed that I didn't get to wear some stripes or at the very least an orange jump suit. I paid my money, thanked 'em and was heading back home in no time!  WHO in their right mind THANKS the arresting officer for going to jail?  I did.  It was FUN! I even saw the arresting officer a few times after (I had to have him buy me dinner a few times... he had all my food money after bail, warrant fees, tickets, stuff...) Now if I could just get that left facing photo... I tell ya - it was a good one!!! 
Now you know - I'm a jailbird.

do you think she knows i have a record? hmmm....

Good times, good times...

Oh - you want to know who is getting cuff'd?  Well, besides me? (should we make the winning convict wear orange? hmmmm.....)
Since the Superbowl Tailgate party got rescheduled (Mr. Flannery called us - and I quote: "a bunch of wimps" - as he was on his way out to go ice fishing in Minnesota *pfft*) due to freeze-my-freckle weather - The Mindy picked a number over the phone line (they did not freeze...)!

Sylvia, (she's at Casa Bella... have you been over there? It's one of my FAVORITE hang-outs (even better than jail!!!)) you are under arrest!

And even though Sylvia doesn't look menacing - she's getting cuff'd! Congratulations!

Thank you EVERYONE for joining in! Now you know... I have a record... does that really surprise you?

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide (where I say: always wear your seatbelt. drive safely. carry your driver's license.  grin in all mugshots - it throws 'em all off thar in the jail...) hee-hee
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