Tuesday, July 31

UPDATED: technical difficulties.

It all started last week...

It seems my camera will not work without a charged battery - which I thought was charged, but realized that leaving it on all night will take care of the charge I thought I had. THEN... turns out I need to turn the stupid thing on when I want to use it - after the battery is charged. Did I have a mild panic attack each time? Yes.

Up next:  the AC unit in the single-wide needed some regulator or something in some mysterious panel... have I mentioned the AC unit had some technical difficulties a few weeks ago? Did I have a mild panic attack? Yes. It's really hot here in the 'hood. I'm really girly - I thrive in temperature controlled climates.

THEN! My laptop starts making funny noises, has lots of shiny blinking lights... and seems to live it’s own life.

Seriously... I think IT’S ALIVE!!! Am I having a mild panic attack? Yes.

I yelled at my desktop printer's color cartridge... WHY is replacing a cartridge like brain surgery? HELLLLLLOOOOOO... do the printer people not know who they are dealing with?! I YELLED! AT A CARTRIDGE! I am not a yeller!

My poor little cell phone... it’s been dropped on it’s head (and in coffee... and in dirt... and in paint... and in... well, just let your imagination run wild – the cell phone has been there) so many times my calls get dropped, texts are very random – or they happen in multiples - and sometimes it sounds like I’m listening to the voice on the other end through a sea shell. Right now? I have no clue where the stupid little thing is. I had it last night.

UPDATED TO ADD: I found it in my refrigerator.

Am I having a mild panic attack? No... because the poor little cell phone is half dead and I keep forgetting to replace it with a new little cell phone.

Okay - that's not true... I am kind of panicking... will someone please call me so I can find my poor little phone that needs to be replaced today? Please? Don't bother leaving a voice mail though... somehow or another I managed to mess THAT thing up a month ago and still haven't figured out how to fix it so I have no clue how to check it. good grief!

Oh... maybe my laptop ate my cell phone...

Do I know why it was in the refrigerator? NO. But... it was sitting on the top shelf. Between the butter and the water bottle.

My email “Inbox” has developed it’s own schedule... I’m getting emails 2 - sometimes 3 - days after they were sent to me! I think it’s on summer vacation... stupid email. Mild panic attack? No. MAJOR panic attack? Yes. My handwriting is atrocious.

Yesterday afternoon? I went to wash my car because I couldn't find it in the parking lot (it looked brown... my car is duct tape silver)...it makes me super sad to think of how long it’s been since the duct tape mobile had a bath... I pull up to the car wash – it is OUT OF ORDER: TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES!

And THEN!!! I went to Target. You know how the doors when your exiting magically open for you like you hold some sort of super power? Well... they didn’t. And I walked right in to them.

And I looked like a complete dork.

But I giggled...

Because... I am not technical. At all. And all things electronic seem to enjoy torturing me.

I decided to hang with my Ethyl 'cause she understands that I'm not technical. It was good... we ate toooooo much... and the doors are manually operated at the restaurant we went to, so the magical super powers that I do not possess were not an issue.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where if the doors HAD been magically super-power powered and I had walked in to them 'cause I'm their cryptonite... Ethyl would have been right there beside me. We would have both looked like complete dorks. Together.

oh - I'm also hoping that Target severely chastises their fashion buyers... have you noticed how they are trying REALLY HARD to bring the 80's back? I shudder... SHUDDER! I think I'm having a FASHION PANIC ATTACK!

NOW I'm done ranting, raving and panicking. Gonna go out to my "la.bor.a.tory" and create magic with my 1950sumthin' mystery machine... it's not technical either. Straight stitch, zig-zag... we get along just fine. And I have my little phone back in my hand.

p.s. I watched Kate & Leopold the other day (after spending a LOT of time figuring out the remote control/TV/movie watching box situation) and I decided this: If I had been Kate, I would have followed Leopold home too... they didn't even have elevators then!!! Plus... Leopold is really hot.
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