Dearest Santa...revised

Hey Santa

Debbie brought it to my attention that I could potentially be comin' across as a spoilt rich gurl 'cause my list was long...so I'd like to revise just a tad 'cause we both know that ain't true... so please chunk the first one and let's roll off this one here.

I've tried to be good dis here year and it wasn't my fault that I got 15 speeding tickets cuz I thought those cops was tryin' to get me for divin' in that thaar dumpster over yonder and they wanted that stuff back (See? I couldn't possibly be rich 'cause that's a whole heck-of-a-lotta pennies bein' thrown towards the good peeps that like to arrest the red-headed girl.)

 

Anyways, It would be right nice of ya to bring me the following for Christmas:

 

My lawn chair stuck in the neighbor's pear tree, (Seriously, I done paid for that... I just need it back 'cause I ain't got nothin' to sit in while I'm watchin' the bug zapper.)
Two cords of firewood and butane for my torch, (Here's a thought...go green and just wack down the neighbor's pear tree for me - that'll work right fine.)
Three hydraulic jacks, Okay... how about 3 new cinder blocks? Those'll work right fine too.
Four cases of RC Cola, I'm not budgin' off this one, I've got plans.
Five new mud'n tires, Perhaps the spare's not necessary...
Six NASCAR t-shirts, I'm not opposed to Tony's old number (20) as long as it's Tony...so that should cost less.
Seven bumper stickers, They don't have to be sticky, I've got duct tape...used ones work right fine.
Eight moon pies You know you've got 'em - will you share?
Nine goats a ropin', Again, I've got duct tape so we can skip the rope part...
Ten cows a tippin' My neighbor's got cows... just supply the get-away sleigh and muscle for me please
Eleven rolls of duct tape You can't skimp on this one...a girl needs her arsenal...
Twelve shotguns a shootin' Hmmmm....How about.... 12 trips to Bass Pro Shop (I like to make funny faces at the fish in the aquarium...) that way ain't no ammo necessary and the cost of diesel for that sleigh of yours can't be THAT much.

 

And this here dress. It shoooor is purdy... I think it'd look right niiiiiiiiice with my camo boots...

I thank ya from the bottom of my sparklin', peep-toed shoes,

Yo fav.o.rite red.neck.

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide... hee-hee
;-) Robelyn

P.S. I'm off to see THEEEE Fantastic Mindy at her Christmas Open House!!!  Come roll with me - it'll be fun!!!  I promise, I'll behave myself...

(I did NOT have my fingers crossed when I typed that.  How could you even THINK such a thing?!)