'Twas the night before Christmas, in Texas ya know.
Way out on the prairie, ain't any snow.
Asleep in their cabin, were Buddy and Sue,
A dreamin' of Christmas, like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots, at the foot of their bed,
For this was Texas, what more need be said?
When all of a sudden from out of the still night,
There came such a ruckus, it gave me a fright!
And I saw 'cross the prairie, like a shot from a gun-
A loaded up John Deere, come'n on at a run!
The driver was "Yee-in" and "Haw-in", with a will,
The diesel (not reindeer) he drove with such skill!
"Come on there Powerstroke, Duramax, Cummins - to the right,
There'll be plenty of travelin' for you all tonight!"
The driver in overalls and a shirt that was red,
Had a ten-gallon Stetson perched on top of his head.
As he hopped down from the Deere, he was really a sight,
With his beard and mustache, so curly and white!
As he burst in the cabin, the children awoke,
And were so astonished, that neither one spoke.
And he filled up their boots with such presents galore,
That neither could think of a single thing more!
When Buddy recovered the use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper, "Are you really Santa Claus?"
"Am I the real Santa? Well, what do you think?"
And he smiled as he gave a mysterious wink.
Then he leapt on his 4-wheel drive tractor, and hollared back in his drawl...
"Merry Christmas, You RED.NECKS! Merry Christmas Y'ALL... YEEEE HAWWWWWWW!"
How're the last minute preparations goin' for you today? Me? I'm juggling all my candy canes...oops, I think I just lost one...
Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide...hee-hee