Wednesday, October 27
How to tell if your single-wide is haunted:
1. A can of pork-'n-beans mysteriously floats through the air.
2. Motor oil drips out of the simulated wood paneling.
3. The eyes on the velvet Elvis painting move.
4. The room is spinning, and you ain't even doin' donuts in the desk chair yet.
5. That car in your front yard ain't up on blocks -- it's levitating by itself...
6. Your dog, Bo, gets sucked into the TV set, and he's blocking your view of rasslin'.
7. That mysterious scratching below the floorboards? The Telltale Raccoon.
8. The ghost don't believe in chain rattlin' but DOES believe in duct tape pullin'.
9. The trailer is shaking, but there’s no tornado in sight.
10. Your Nascar bed sheets have eyeholes cut in them.
11. The ghost is completely invisible except for the moon pie stickin' out of its mouth.
12. Mysterious footsteps seem to be stomping out “Ache Breaky Heart.”
13. There's a funny howlin' noise comin' from the hay field -- no -- wait... that's Bubba.
14. The lights turn on and off even though you paid the power bill.
15. You hear blood-curdling screams, but all the neighbors are still in jail.
16. You get a mysterious phone call that says, "I know what you did at the last NASCAR race."
17. The folks on the Jerry Springer show discuss domestic problems that eerily resemble your own.
18. You come home one day and it's clean and decorated for Halloween...
And... last but not least...
Instead of saying "boo" the ghost says "boo-ya'll!"
Now you know. Do you have any candy corn? I love that schtuff...
Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide (where I'm gonna be a lil' skeert if that thar jack-o-lantern on my front porch has more teeth than I do...) hee-hee