Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue*
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore Naugahyde is like corn silk a-flappin' in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's* and without all them fleas**.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from the best Naugahyde like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack***,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan
Like a good roll of duct tape, you're perfect fer me - i gotsa plan...
* my dogs' names are actually Pepe', Pooch and Max...but I couldn't make those rhyme with anything...
** I ain't got no stinkin' fleas...
*** or the little white jacket everyone insists I wear so often (I just don't get that...attall...)...
Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide (where even though I currently have THREE chairs awaiting attention so they can go to the Taj Mahal - I still managed to drag another one home... but it's not leavin'. It's mine. I'm keeping it... do you like it?)...hee-hee