Tuesday, May 31


I adore you - each and every 402 of you!!!

Sew - in honor of you goofballs that keep up with my mis-adventures I would like to present you with:

THIS pocketbook!  Wanna win?

Leave a comment!  That easy! It's all about you - and you - and you...

I'll even throw in the pieces of the skirt that were left over after makin' you a lil' somethin' special! hee-hee

Let's see - how about midnight Friday night as the deadline?  I know you all have been busy (what DID you do for fun this past week-end?) and want to give you plenty of time - after all: without YOU I wouldn't have a single soul to listen to my wild tales... thank you for duct tapin' yourself to me!!!

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide (yeah - they did let me out of the zoo so I could get the single-wide back home and back up on blocks...

but the orangutans sure did put up a fight...)

P.S. If your new here - throw your name in too... we have allllllll kinds of fun over here - don't forget to go meet the fun people that hang out with the red.neck!!! You'll love 'em as much as I do!

Friday, May 27

Gone visitin'...

Uh huh... I'm over wreaking havoc at Valarie's today! Are ya gonna come see me? You SEW don't want to miss the mischief over there... and Valarie is BRILLIANT!

Since it's Memorial Day week-end and it took an incredible amount of super-human strength to get the single-wide off the cinder blocks and hooked up to the duct tape mobile - I figure I'll make a long one out of these next few days.

While I'm out terrorizin' Valarie, the 'hood (and the rest of the states too) - I hope that YOU enjoy a week-end full of Family and Friends, grins and giggles (and some duct tape)! Salute a soldier and remember those that have fought and died for our nation:

Memorial Day
-~Joyce Kilmer~
The bugle echoes shrill and sweet,
But not of war it sings to-day.
The road is rhythmic with the feet
Of men-at-arms who come to pray.

The roses blossom white and red

On tombs where weary soldiers lie;
Flags wave above the honored dead
And martial music cleaves the sky.

Above their wreath-strewn graves we kneel,

They kept the faith and fought the fight.
Through flying lead and crimson steel
They plunged for Freedom and the Right.

May we, their grateful children, learn

Their strength, who lie beneath this sod,
Who went through fire and death to earn
At last the accolade of God.

In shining rank on rank arrayed

They march, the legions of the Lord;
He is their Captain unafraid,
The Prince of Peace...Who brought a sword.

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that's happily parked at Valarie's... then I'm thinking: a trip to the zoo. Do you think they will keep me there or send me back home? I'll get back to you on this...

P.S. - I'm sew undecided about "Em.i.ly's" name!!! You guys rock! I'm going to throw them all in a pocketbook and see what I come up with - in the meantime - feel free to keep on pickin' some names!!!

Thursday, May 26


I know it's been a while since I've decided to make all of you lovely lovely red.necks (don't try to deny yer red.neck ways...) responsible for the naming of all new pocketbooks that make their way out of the "red.neck mad-lab"... but I want you to meet: Ms. "Em.i.ly...". Her theory is: Go BIG or go home! I *heart* this tote/laptop bag size! Ms. "Em.i.ly" needs a name... remember how it goes?

I give you the name of the pattern:

Pattern Name: "em.i.ly"
Some history of her ingredients ('cause you know each pocketbook is cooked up with fun!):

Cotton Seed sack (the lightest of pinks!), vintage bark cloth ruffle and pocket, re.cycled purse handles and some thrift store sparkles!

then I say GO! 

Don't forget - the name I duct tape to Ms. "em.i.ly" gets a link to YOUR blog (or website - even your Etsy Shop!) in the product description in my Etsy shop!  Are you game?


Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide (where the laboratory is clean - and I'm lovin' it! Did you know I had a floor in there? I sho 'nuff didn't...) hee-hee

Wednesday, May 25


I am fearless when it comes to puttin' my mark on the single-wide.


I have "golden rod" walls in the living and dining area...

"olive grove" in the kitchen. My kitchen counters are slate, I have wood cabinets that are dazzlin' with satin nickel hardware. (And - I should tell you - the kitchen is subject to change since it's been the same for a couple of years now.)

There are splashes of turquoise mixed in with some Happy cherry red... all over the place. Every season.

I have a healthy amount of rusty junk - a CRAZY fascination with aluminum flashing... and chrome - wooden dining table and chairs...

My couch has a wood frame (with 50+++ years of stories to tell) and a cream matelasse cushion cover - one side chair is creamy leather with a chrome frame - the other is covered in cowhide with a wood frame... wooden end tables and coffee table (that my Grandfather made!)... wood... wood... wood...

I'm thinking about painting the frame of the couch turquoise.  I have tested a secret spot on the couch - and I like it - but I'm hesitant... which is odd... 'cause I'm fearless in the color department. I know, you would never have guessed that...

Have you ever painted your couch?

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that is in the middle of a clean-out, clean-up and total transformation... hee-hee

Monday, May 23

animal house

I have a dog that barks at a squirrel. And a squirrel that barks at the dog. And a mocking bird that barks at both of 'em. And the three of them never solve any of their apparent issues - so it happens each and every morning - without fail.

Uhmmm... yep - It's a Monday. Did you have a good week-end?

Comin' to you LIVE from a zoo.

Friday, May 20


the very tall woman was tied to my car (story here)

the very tall woman traveled very far (story here)

(story here)
all the king's horses and all the king's men
couldn't put very tall woman together again...

but it's 'cause they didn't have duct tape.

Humpty Dumpty shoulda' been so lucky...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I'm wishing YOU a FANTASTIC week-end full of giggles and duct tape!!! hee-hee

Thursday, May 19


I've discovered the art of cooking instant pudding. Uh huh - I said, "cooking instant pudding".  Because cooking in MY book means that I own a whisk and know how to use it. And there is no need for the fire department to come share dinner with me. I need a pink chef's hat. And I'd also like to know how a whisk got in my kitchen...

2 cups of cold milk
a whisk (I really just like saying "whisk")
a box of magical pudding powder stuff.
I'm chefboyarredneck!

One time I had two boxes of pudding...

turns out - you cooked one and you did the whole 2 cups of cold milk magic/instant thing with the other.
Well........ I cooked the 2 cups of cold milk one and added 2 cups of cold milk to the cookonthestove one...
then stood in front of the refrigerator staring at the bowls while in tears 'cause neither one of them were setting like the boxes said they would.
Very traumatic event... verrrrrrrrry traumatic. I went on pudding strike for years.

Where was I going with this?

Oh yeah - I'm the queen chefette with my boxes of instant pudding!  I'm going to try this Saturday:

1 package (3.9 oz) Jell-O Instant Pudding, any flavor
1 cup cold half and half
1 cup cold milk
1 graham cracker crust
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 pkg. (4 oz.) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
1-1/2 cups thawed COOL WHIP Whipped Topping

Popsicle mold, or 5 or 6 oz paper cups

Beat the pudding mix, milk, and half and half with a wire whisk for 2 minutes by hand. Break graham cracker crust into small chunks (I only used about half the crust), and stir pieces into the pudding.

Beat cream cheese and sugar in a medium sized bowl with a mixer until well blended. Fold in Cool Whip.

Fill mold/paper cup with pudding about 1/3 of the way. Add a layer of the Cool Whip filling, and top with more pudding. Insert a Popsicle stick and place cups in the freezer.

Freeze for 5 hours or until firm. Peel off paper cup before serving. Makes about 6 popsicles. (recipe here)

I can't decide if I like pudding because it is so DELICIOUS or if I like it because I feel like I belong behind the counter of a 5 star restaurant... specializing in 2 cups of cold milk, a whisk and a box of magical pudding powder stuff. Can you imagine how "chef-like" i'm going to feel while eating a pudding pop? I think I have a mixer thingy somewhere... and if you ever come to dinner don't be surprised if the entree' is instant pudding. 

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I'm wondering what flavor of instant pudding is your favorite? I'm partial to the sugar-free white chocolate - but the lemon is running a close second - oh and then there is the chocolate... and the pistachio... and the tapioca... hee-hee

Wednesday, May 18

chair hoarder.

I am apparently a chair hoarder. Sunday I rolled my duct tape in to an estate sale...

and wheeled these babies OUT of the estate sale!

As of today - this moment - I can't decide if I want to start change my bedroom decor ideas to include these two inyourface vibrant beauties - or if they need to move to your house.

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that could potentially be overrun with chairs... I have another set in the back of my car.  Do you know how to strip paint off of metal and leave that blackish/silvery finish? hee-hee

Monday, May 16

public service announcement

This past Saturday the resident teen and his friends went to a birthday party. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out in the country.

Now - the resident teen is 16 and driving (we're going for our official license this week) and... all of his friends are driving too.

During the party - one of the little girls decided since they were waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out in the country, she wanted to see how fast her parent's truck would go.  Down a gravel road. Despite other kids (including my son (This is where I thank God he has some common sense...)) telling her what a stupid idea that was.

She fish-tailed and hit a tree - bounced off and hit another tree...
She had two other girls with her.

As God would have it - all 3 girls are going to be physically fine - some bruises, cuts and a concussion. There was no alcohol involved.  Just... "joy" riding.

I have always had the rule with the teen-age man/child that he is not to ride with teenagers - and that when he starts driving, they are not to ride with him.  They pay more attention to each other than they do the road, they mess with radios and cell phones... there are even laws about teenage driving and the number of kids allowed in a car.

A couple of weeks ago I backtracked on myself. One of his friends that I love and adore had his parent's car and was driving to school - I let my son ride with him thinking the whole time, "he's a good kid and I know mine will be safe" (yes - I did call the school 15 minutes later to make sure they made it okay).  So, I'm guilty of not following my own rules when faced with pleading brown eyes. Sunday morning I confessed to the resident teen that I broke my own rule and that was wrong on my part - that that is not going to happen again and I'm going to be actively enforcing the "no driving/riding with teens" law.  After Saturday night, I believe he's all for it.

However, later on Sunday he brought up the fact that he's going to want to go on dates without me dropping them off.

How do you know if you've done your "drive safely - and I mean it" job correctly?

Where the heck is the driver's ed book for parenting?  geesh.

Please, remind your kids to not only be aware of how they drive - but to be aware of how their friends drive.  And, everyone else on the road.  Speed limits are for a reason - don't get in a car with their friends if their friends are trying to be a lil' crazy - gravel roads are sometimes dangerous - and if they are driving and their friends are with them that THAT is big responsibility... and there is no reason to see how fast a car/truck will go unless you're driving in the Nascar race.  I know you have probably already talked to them about all of this - but please, do it again.  I've just kinda babbled on over the past year or so - just here and there - but now I'm going to make a point of looking straight into the brown eyes of my teenager and repeating myself - over and over and over again.

It's important.

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide...

Friday, May 13

Dear Diary,

Sunday: brought "the Mama" and my step-Dad...

and this GORGEOUS little lamp! Can you imagine how long it took the artist to piece all of the china pieces together once crushed?  My-oh-my... I need to have a tea so I can call this my "tea light".

Monday: An award banquet for the resident teen and the arrival of a very tiny big headed kitty.
Fatty-cat doesn't like tiny big head, so...

Tuesday: the resident teen gets really really sick with a cold/flu/ickyness - yikes!

Later that evening the air conditioner at the single-wide decided to take a permanent vacation.

Wednesday: Wonderful WONDERFUL rain comes!!!

And, the air guy won't take the resident teen (or tiny big headed kitty) as payment for a new unit - I didn't know what to do with myself - so I decided to make a doily bowl since I have never done that before!

Thursday:  Little tiny big headed kitty finds a new and loving home and heads South to Austin...

all in the middle of MORE wonderful BEAUTIFUL rain drops! Annnnnnnnnd since blogger decided to go with my air conditioner - I needed some retail therapy. I hit the local thrift store and found THESE lil' darlin's:

Future photo holders?  hmmm.... bud vases? Chandelier crystals?  Endless possibilities...

It's now Friday. Friday the 13th...
The air is fixed.

The resident teen is on the mend - my little light is shining bright ("the mama" spoils me rotten!!!) - I have a lace bowl for absolutely no reason - I'm down a tiny kitty (who's name is officially "Nova") - I'll never run short of salt and pepper shakers...
and blogger is back up!

Whew - it's like Christmas on Friday the 13th in May!

How has your week been treating you?  Are you ready for the week-end? You wouldn't believe how much I've missed you while blogger decided to take a spring break... 

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide that is now energy efficient-er! hee-hee

Wednesday, May 11

yee HAW!

This past Saturday found me with "the Mama" at her annual Mother's Day gathering...

donkey gets around, doesn't he?
this year her theme was: "A Country Girls' Afternoon".  The invite said: "Please meet us at the "barn" for lunch and lots of fun"...

my Grandfather made the horse - and the tractor belongs to the Sr. red.neck (aka: my Uncle) - and the dalmatian is "the step-daddy's"!
so I did!

And... this year - just like the previous years (here ) - each table had a different theme/color combo; some cowgirl/farm-like action goin' on... Wanna see?

vintage toys spread out ALL across this table - FUN!
why are these not in my size?  *geesh*

my cousin made this candle holder... cool, huh?
these are my other cousin's boots... they aren't in my size either...

how awesome is this sifter? i think i need to go shopping at "the mama's" when she's not looking...
this was my Grandmother's stove when she was little - she kept forgetting to turn it off so my Great-Grandfather took the heater out... that could be where i get my oven skills from....

does a rooster lay eggs?

There are TONS more photos here on my flickr page... things like the wreath at the entrance - more table shots - a few people shots... a lot of tractor shots....

because I really WAS playing with a tractor on Mother's Day!!! Poor "the Mama"... she worked so hard to make everything gorgeous and fun - and I played with the tractors....

Comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide...hee-hee
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