Saturday, June 30

Big Red.

google images

No... I'm not talking about ME when I say "Big Red"... I'm more "big orange head"I'm talkin' about the stuff summer dreams are made of, a Texas tradition:

image is used with permission by Mama Me Gluten Free (she has a REALLY GREAT recipe HERE!)


2 liters of Big Red (64 ounces)
2 (14 ounce) cans of Condensed Milk
(the sweet kind)

Put it in the ice cream maker thing and get bizzzzzzy!!!

comin' to you LIVE from YOUR HOUSE if you're makin' this because I don't have an ice cream maker thingy but it's my FAVohRITE ice cream... what's your address?

p.s. If you have never had Big Red ice cream - you really should make some. You will thank me later...

Friday, June 29

summer time...

That hot, humid, windy, dusty, dirty, stinky, HOT summer thing is happenin' here in my 'hood...

eeeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwwww.... when is winter blowing back in?

The ONLY way you are going to get me outside in the foreseeable future is if I'm wearing one of/any of/all of these dresses from Free People.

Other than that? I've parked myself in the freezer. If you open the freezer I will hand you a freezer pop... but I will not be getting out.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where even the cat is in the freezer. wait... that just doesn't sound right...

Wednesday, June 27


I was babbling (that happens) the other night and it came out of my mouth:

"red.neck Chic - the blog - has four years of me. Some silliness - some seriousness - all me."

FOUR YEARS!!! Seems like it was only yesterday!

Do you realize all of the adventures you have been on with me? The jail-cell tales I've told... the man-child we've raised... the road trips we've taken... the shows we've done... the things we've made... the things we've THOUGHT about making... the times I've burned my kitchen down (I'm so glad you always bring a fire extinguisher)... the animals that have arrived and not left... the New Year resolutions each year... the couch we made re-live the chainsaw massacre...

The "resident teen" started DRIVING with you along for the ride... and I can't believe I let him drive after confessing to my dirty little "I stole a car" secret... I still don't think he knows... I don't think.

I've buried sewing machines - you were along as my accomplice... Heck - I've hauled a woman around on top of my car... then murdered her. You were there.

We've discussed my Grandparents - a couple of times - at Christmas and at the Port-a-Potty (No... it wasn't Christmas IN the port-a-potty... though stranger things happen in my neighborhood...)...

You spent time with Grampy on Veteran's Day and time with Grammy on our birthday...

You've been to "the Mama's" house (remember running from her? HAHAHA) countless times - my favorite is when you came at Christmas! And the tea party's she's hostessed for us... there's one more I haven't shown you yet! Remember when my older brother stole her car right in front of her?

I took a deep breath and introduced you to ALL of the crazies I'm related to my red.neck family!

Let's see... I've been jobless and am now building my "mercantile" in The Hillsboro Antique Mall... you've been watching me from the very beginning there... remember when I erected the "Taj Mahal"? It's still there... just a lot bigger.

We've been to the NASCAR races and we watched the soccer team win the Superbowl... we've even eaten pickles together at High School Football games!

You've watched me shift and change... learn how to use a camera... grow and then grow some more... you've listened to me rant - you've listened to me rave... you've listened to me crack up at nothing at all - and everything at once. You've watched me meet new friends, welcome some old friends - adopt new family members.

Sickness and health, mischief and mayhem, laughter and tears... ho-hum days and CRAZY days... sewing thread and spray paint cans... we've been in it together.


comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I'm thinking... 4 MORE years of complete insanity and THAT many more rolls of duct tape are comin' right up... are you ready?

Monday, June 25

I'm a NERD!

This morning I am reporting for Jury Duty and I'm such a dork that I am EXCITED about this! My first time EVER - and I've been signed up for many many many years... I was starting to feel like the girl with "nerd" on her back that nobody wanted on their dodge-ball team!

heehee.... it's in my Etsy shop... LOL
maybe just MAYBE it will be something like: "A caller reported having video of a vehicle spinning doughnuts on newly laid gravel on Camp Creek Road around 4 p.m." and the doughnut maker got arrested and I will get to figure out his motives for making doughnuts so late in the afternoon! everyone knows doughnuts are better at 3am...

Or maybe it will be something like: "Several cows were causing a traffic hazard on Interstate 90 near mile marker 279 just before midnight..." and I will get to try to figure out WHY the cows were on the interstate and why so late! Ah.... the cow mystery... I wonder if their mothers knew where they were?

I'll be back...

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where those courtroom peeps should watch out 'cause I'm wearin' my SASSY pants today! Now... I hope I get to play dodge-ball even though I stink at it 'cause I'm always ducking behind the geek...

Saturday, June 23

you can stay in the trailer park.

flower photo i transfered.... we will come back to this.

I've seen and admired and have WANTED to try the whole "transfer a photo to canvas" thing for a while... so I did.

Here's what I learned:

  • it's okay to have an inkjet printer and not a laser printer... you will not kicked out of the trailer park
  • it's NOT okay to use a photo with tons and tons of details. 
  • i still don't know the difference between freezer paper and wax paper, so the transparency technique is great for those of us (me) that don't know about kitchen utensils. 
  • my printer hates me. 
  • it's NOT affordable to use transparencies. 
  • page protectors from the scrapbook section that are 59million for $1.00 work just the same as the transparencies that make you gasp and gasp again in the middle of the office stuff store when you see the price tag then look again thinking you should get to the eye doctor ASAP because there is NO WAY you were seeing that price tag right. 
  • finger painting is fun. 
  • yer gonna mess up the first one (or two... or three) so have your white spray paint on-the-ready. 
  • the Gel Medium works WAY better when spread so thin you can't decide if you really applied it or if you just THOUGHT you applied it. 
  • saturate your colors.... saturate, saturate, saturate
  • fingernail polish is way better than just plain ol' paint. 

shall we begin?

Take your favorite photo (in my case... my favorite subject):

and mess with it until you have HIGH CONTRAST (I went black and white) messing with your color saturation as much as you dare. When you are happy with it, trim down a plastic page protector, slide it in to your printer, and hit print! The ink just sits on the plastic and waits for you like a stalker.

THIS stuff rules!!! But... it only rules in super thin layers. The first photo (the flower) I put it on tooooooo thick and ended up with a MESS that ended up looking kind of artsy fartsy... but we'll get back to that. In the mean time, dip your finger in and just BARELY cover your canvas top to bottom, side to side.

Flip your image over, carefully drop it on and then "burnish" it. I used a little wooden hand because my hand was using the remote control for the camera, and the wooden hand was just.... there (you know how I am about body parts laying around...). BUT - you can "burnish" with your finger tip because the gel medium picks up THAT good and rather quickly. Be prepared to lose some of your details... or at least be prepared for some "runny fuzzy" action with your details.

Lift the clear protector off and Voila! Image transfer.

THIS is where I learned that I need to up my saturation levels... it looks kind of "charcoalish"... which is fine 'cause he's so cute he makes my heart get all "runny fuzzy". Next TIME I will probably run through a whole cartridge of black ink because I want it less "charcoalish".

Or.... I could take the image and add finger nail polish when I want more color:

because sometimes I give canvases manicures. Do you see the "texture"? THAT is where I learned that a super thin layer of gel stuff is better.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I want to THANK YOU for your kind words, thoughts and prayers for the loss of our family friend, Richard. Richard's Grandson is an AMAZING young man full of courage and bravery... truly amazing... and I'm thinking that he gets it from his Grandfather. Through everything, I have found a new friend, Pat. Pat is Richard's sister-in-law, and she talks about Richard and his Grandson today here...

Wednesday, June 20

hello... goodbye

I had this really funny post in draft using these pictures... it had words like “plethora” in it and giggle-worthy scenarios such as: imagine how many people you would confuse if you walked in to a room and said “goodbye” instead of “hello” (I still might try that some day... just sayin’) and I went on to discuss spray paint as an alternative to toe nail polish (pedicure courtesy of Krylon)...

but then life intervened, a family friend passed away, and I started to think about these two words:

 "hello" and "goodbye".

And now you will get the Wednesday episode of "deep thoughts by red.neck Chic":

I’ve always ALWAYS adored the word “hello” because it can hold a plethora of emotions depending on tone of voice. You can almost judge another’s mood by the way they answer the phone:

“HELLO!!!” – that’s the “I’m so happy to have your voice in my ear” hello!

Or “hello.” – that’s the “I’m not having a good day – you better make this good” hello.

Or - my favorite - is by-passing the "hello" all together and going straight for yelling out a nickname or asking "what are you doing?!"!

“you had me at “hello”"... *sigh*... so romantic.

“Hello” when you get me in person rarely escapes my lips without a smile accompanying it... and because I'm me... a giggle of some sort. :)

As for “goodbye”... I don't like saying “goodbye” (or in my case: "okaybye")

I know it’s only painful when you’re never going to say “hello” again - but honestly - how often do you think about that happening? I say “okaybye” and naturally think it’s bringing me closer to the next “hello”. On the phone I say it (and for WHATEVER reason chuckle right after), hang up and continue on my way with the belief that my phone will ring again and I can say “HELLO!!!” a lil' later to that same person. When I’m leaving someone that I love, I say the dreaded “okaybye” and offer up some good huggin' action, but in my head I'm already plotting and planning the next time I’ll get to see them... ‘cause I don't like thinking or saying “goodbye” or even "okaybye".

Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends. ~ Richard Bach

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I will never take "hello" for granted... if I hug you extra tight when I see you and extra tighter when I leave you instead of saying anything - it's 'cause I don't like "goodbye"... no matter what color it's painted. Make sure each "hello" counts today..

p.s. - maybe the "right after okaybye" phone chuckle is me already plotting for the next "hello"! ahhhhh..... NOW it makes sense! ;)

Monday, June 18


this morning i went bounding across my front porch with a big grin on my face - leaping up and over the porch railing (what are those steps for anyway?) in my greatest flip-flop wearin' gymnastic move EVER - a great rush of excitement consuming me as the thrill of going all "wild woman" filled my red.neck soul...

i was gonna cut some fun little bursts of sunshine for my dining table!

after closer inspection i decided that PERHAPS i am not as much of a wild woman as i thought i was.... though i am easily entertained. that bug did all kinds of interesting things.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where i think the sunflowers look juuuuuussssssttttt fine along the fence line... stinky bugs.

Sunday, June 17

for the "Pops"

image source
Have fun today!!!

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide...

Thursday, June 14

lucy and ethyl

You know, for every Lucy there is an Ethyl. It's how the world works. How the Universe works.

Or how MY Universe works anyway.

I would like to go on record as saying this: Lucy got a bad rap. In MY opinion - Ethyl was the troublemaker... getting Lucy in to all kinds of crazy stuff!

Someday I'll tell you tales of gas pumps and ripped jeans, desk chairs that don't stay upright and chocolate pudding phones, static cling and coffee... operas and sock lines from self tanning lotion... fully extended bucket trucks and more coffee...  Christmas music in June and IM'ing from 10feet away... $2 flip-flops, wrong-side-out shirts and mis-matched (and/or missing) shoes... pizza hut pizza (hey Ethyl, if you call it in I'll go get it tomorrow and bring you lunch!!!) followed up with 3-day, 20lbs a minute diets and more coffee... clocks without batteries and 10,000foot scrap-vinyl mountains... turtle-necks, over-alls, circus people and stalkers... doors and pillars, hydraulic tables and office supplies... prom dresses at Christmas dinner and missing dogs... more coffee... plots and plans and mid-night phone calls starting with, "oh my gosh - what am i going to wear?!"

13 years of giggle inducing tales mixed in with some trials and errors - highs and lows - all things in between (including but not limited to:) dumpster usage, tattoos, flipped trucks, lipstick (because you DO know that 99cent lipstick and Neil Diamond fixes everything, right?), frozen cookie dough... and more coffee.

The craziness - it's all Ethyl's fault. *completely innocent grin goes here*

I called my Ethyl - who is a crochet needle GENIUS - the other night and said, "hey - I saw these somewhere i think..."

Next thing I know: I've got cotton face scrubbies to package up and take along to the "mercantile" in Hillsboro! Cool, right?

100% cotton.
Machine washable.
1 for each day of the week.
1 re.imagined handkerchief wash bag.
Alllllll packaged up in a jar so they look pretty on your vanity.
re.duce - re.use - re.cycle

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where if I was ever comin' to you LIVE from a jail-cell I would have to call YOU to come get me because Ethyl would be sitting right beside me... and I would bet my flip-flops that you would WANT to come bail us out just to hear the story of how we got there. It would start something like this: "a blonde and a red-head stumbled in to a...."

Tuesday, June 12


the other day it was mentioned that i wear tablecloths. at first i was slightly traumatized....

then it was pointed out to me that i make pocketbooks out of tablecloths, why wouldn't i wear 'em too?

sew now i'm embracing my tablewear.

join me so i don't feel sew alone:

1 tank top
1 doily
sew the doily to the tank top
and.... if your tank is too long like mine is - cut some teeny-tiny holes in the sides (knit is SEW forgiving and doesn't unravel!), gather your shirt and tie it up with some hem lace.

it's that easy. and that summery. THAT pretty.

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where i should just accept the fact that the older i get, the more my inner hippie emerges. 9 times out of 9.5 i'm running around barefoot - i wear bell-bottoms all half the time... and tablewear, i'm sure, has a place setting in all of that. better yetif i go on a picnic i already have my table cover. simplicity in life is key...

Sunday, June 10

cookin' up some fun...

boil it...

stitch it!

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where frozen pizzas baffle me.... but i can boil duct tape. *pfft*

Friday, June 8


found here

Have I ever told you I'm an opal fiend? I am! They have soooooooo many colors in them - they catch alllll of the light and they sparkle and glitter and shimmer and shine... they hold so much life!

i even like opal glass - found here

You can keep the diamonds (yeah, I heard you gasp!)...

good grief.... this ring made my jaw drop... found here

and hand me an opal instead.

found here

Or a vintage gumball machine ring with a faux opal... I'm all over it. I'm so low maintenance...

... like this car. I would drive one of these... maybe paint it pink. Or cherry red. What's your favorite gemstone?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where while I'm thinking about opals I'm ALSO boiling duct tape...

my version of multi-tasking. hee-hee

Thursday, June 7

cherry soup

google images

My throat feels like someone stuffed a roll of barbed wire down it... *dramatic pause*... or at the very least parked a dump trunk in it. Soup is on my mind 'cause chips hurt.

google images

I read a recipe (yes, I read recipes... doesn't mean I cook!) for Chilled Cherry Soup using honey in it just a few days ago:


1 1-pound bag frozen, pitted cherries
2 cups pinot noir
1 teaspoon lemon zest, chopped
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey
Cinnamon stick
1/2 cup water
Dash salt and black pepper
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup water
Lemon or cherry sorbet (optional)


In a large saucepan over medium heat, combine cherries, wine, zest, sugar, honey, cinnamon stick, 1/2 cup water, salt and pepper. Stir to dissolve sugar and honey. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to simmer and reduce the liquid slightly, about 15 minutes.

In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and 1/4 cup water. Whisk cornstarch mixture into cherry mixture and return to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered 10 minutes or until slightly thickened.

Remove soup from heat. Remove cinnamon stick from soup and place in bowl. Place fine-meshed strainer over bowl.

Puree soup in a blender, one cup at a time until smooth. Using a rubber spatula or back of a spoon to press out liquid, strain through fine-meshed strainer. Chill completely. Remove and discard the cinnamon stick. Serve soup with a scoop of lemon or cherry sorbet, if desired.

I have a teddy-bear bottle full of fresh honey that makes me smile. And I like cherries. And I always let my food get cold before I eat it. And PLUS: Troy with Junk Exchange said it was 101degrees here yesterday... that's crazy! It's only the first week of June! Chilled Cherry Soup sho' 'nuff sounds tasty.

google images

Have you ever made cherry soup before?

comin' to you LIVE from a single-wide where I should also tell you that frozen cherries make your nose feel better after you drop a metal shelf on to the tip of it and it turns red like a cherry and then it looks like someone beat you up side the nose with a whisk. Or a blender. I don't think this is my week... who's cooking?
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